hay'all
last night i move out from my friend's place immediately soon after she send me a stupid sms ( for me lorr )..i cannot understand these people,either they dont listen,dont understand or just dont have manners...but,everyone know that its hard to find truth friends..so the best way,is live ur life as fullest as u can without thinking anything..once i think back,better for me not to get involved with anyone.just live my life like this..
but last night,when i move my things from that place,i was crying..totally sad n disappointed..how could she do this to me..how could she send me sms like that..and the most important is how could she say things like that..didnt she ever think that the things that she said and probihited me to do is stupid?? why is i said stupid,sebab dia pun buat jugak!!!!! how come u nak tegur seseorang,tetapkan rules n regulations tp u as the owner u break,mcm mana u nk espect people follow n respect ur guidelines..such a stupid rules n regulation..tp sebab i ni jenis bangsa yg malas nak bertekak or to make the story short,i sedar diri i duduk umah dia,so i silent..malas nak ckp,,tp cuba fikir balik la.. ( PADAHAL,SITUASI DIA SAMA DGN I,TP X NAK ADMIT) ..dah la,dia selalu tinggalkan i dlm umah dgn boyfriend dia..dia kuar..tp seingat i la..waktu dia dtg lepak umah i,i tak prnh terima any guest,sebab apa? sebab i nak dia rasa comfortable bila ada dlm umah i,i nak dia rasa free to move around in my house,i dont want she feels awkward when she spent a night at my place..thats it..sepatutnya,before she said things to me,she supposed think first,but sadly,she did not..terlalu ikutkan perasaan,emotional,and some more the BF...adoi..i bukan jenis mengungkit,tp once dia buat mcm ni,i rasa geram.because if i boleh sabar n didnt say anything,why cant she? just be patient la babe..aku bukan duduk rumah kau lama2 pun..lgpun aku dh sound awal2 just for temporary..paling lewat,before FEBRUARY aku blah..tp sebab dia x sabar,n said bad things to me,last night jugak i blah..angkut all my things..erm..i sorang2 tau..padahal waktu i pindah brg2 i dr my previous condo,i sewa lori and labour..tp mlm td,tak ada nya nak sewa lori n labour,i angkut sendiri masuk dlm keta..dont u guys ever think la berapa kali i naik n turun tangga tingkat 4 ..4 trip..start from 7.45pm finished at 00:35 am..but still i have left one big boxe,i x larat sebab waktu tu dh nak colapsed..nak pengsan rasanya..tangan n kaki ni dh mengeletar..i buat sorang2..no friends help me..i tak minta tlg siapa2 pun..actually,i pun bodoh gak,sebab nak tunjukkan pada dia yg masih respect rules dia..NO MAN IN THE HOUSE..so,thats why i x minta tlg anyone,i buat sorang2..i langsung x leh tido because my arms n legs are totally hurt until around 5am something i called W to bring me to the clicnic for injection,because cannot tahan anymore..today,im going to pack some things from the house..but i cannot finished pack all the things within short period as i have to do it all alone..
dont she ever think,when she's in trouble last 2 year,dont she ever think when she came and lepak at my place,how i treat her and her boyfriend,remember during raya haji last year,how i treat her brother n gurlfriend..i make sure they feel comfortable during their n her stayed at my place..why cant she be a bit patients during my stays at her place..furthermore,i already mention that im not going to stay long at her place,paling lama pun,before FEBRUARY,i'll find my own place..but she cant do that..shes not patient..
i think i ni jenis bangsa yang totally tak kisah..even she said things that she are not supposed to say...but i just rilex n buat bodoh..but yesterday,when she say something that related about mother..i cannot tahan..then i decided to move my things even i dont know where to go..i went to her house,pick my few things ,when out and search for the house..ALHAMDULLILAH, AllAH still love n care about me..i found one place..so at the moment i stayed there,but somehow i fell comfortable as that is my new house and my new life..
start from yesterday,im gonna proof to everyone and fixed back all my mistakes..so..moral of the story..make sure u can survive anywhere..theres though world out there ..
till we meet again
helfina
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
please think guys...
hay'all
i spent half of my day at MARA BUILDING, settle my application for my CIMA.. as i stood in front the counter while talking to the officer regarding the release letter,there one lady who try to submitted form for furher her MASTER.and what suprises me is her form has been rejected on the spot..why? because she didnt get credits for all her subjects taken during her SPM...what the FUCKS !!!! there,i said it already..but can u guys imagined how sad ,disappointed and frustrated she was..
dont u guys feel kinky..SPM? let see..erm..is that important? i mean after u struggling for a few years at the UNI to get a good and excellent pointer,minimum 4 years( basic course )..come on la..SPM,it just a ticket for us to get place at the best UNI or COURSE thatt we want ( or what our parents want us to be la...)the real battle is during out time at the UNIVERSITY..which that real place where we really compete with others,learn how to live,survivor..oh gosh..i still remember when i was in UNI..its hard but enjoying la..depends..BUT i still can't believe the requirement for MARA is still SPM..(yeah,of course they have their own guide line,no doubts) best scholar for the best student.correct? but stilllllllllllll.........
look at this situation..what if.one fellows doing not very well during the SPM..but he/she really perform or doing well during the degrees or diplomas...and what if he/she deserve one ticket for the scholar to further abroad?what if he/she is the right candidate? but because of his/her's SPM cert,looked no good..then he/she has been drop... is that a waste? is that sad?... of course..
DAMN IT!!!!!
so,mcm mana..theres a lot of our malaysian students who didnt come back after finished their studying there..better job,better pay..siapa tak nak...i pun nak,if like that..wawawawa,.but as long as they know the responsibility lorr... 1) study well la,jgn main2 2) pay the loan la,jgn buat2 forget 3) if scholar,make sure u finished contract with MARA la,jgn lari 4) always pround to be MALAYSIAN, even tak nak balik cini lg..ok?
i spent half of my day at MARA BUILDING, settle my application for my CIMA.. as i stood in front the counter while talking to the officer regarding the release letter,there one lady who try to submitted form for furher her MASTER.and what suprises me is her form has been rejected on the spot..why? because she didnt get credits for all her subjects taken during her SPM...what the FUCKS !!!! there,i said it already..but can u guys imagined how sad ,disappointed and frustrated she was..
dont u guys feel kinky..SPM? let see..erm..is that important? i mean after u struggling for a few years at the UNI to get a good and excellent pointer,minimum 4 years( basic course )..come on la..SPM,it just a ticket for us to get place at the best UNI or COURSE thatt we want ( or what our parents want us to be la...)the real battle is during out time at the UNIVERSITY..which that real place where we really compete with others,learn how to live,survivor..oh gosh..i still remember when i was in UNI..its hard but enjoying la..depends..BUT i still can't believe the requirement for MARA is still SPM..(yeah,of course they have their own guide line,no doubts) best scholar for the best student.correct? but stilllllllllllll.........
look at this situation..what if.one fellows doing not very well during the SPM..but he/she really perform or doing well during the degrees or diplomas...and what if he/she deserve one ticket for the scholar to further abroad?what if he/she is the right candidate? but because of his/her's SPM cert,looked no good..then he/she has been drop... is that a waste? is that sad?... of course..
DAMN IT!!!!!
so,mcm mana..theres a lot of our malaysian students who didnt come back after finished their studying there..better job,better pay..siapa tak nak...i pun nak,if like that..wawawawa,.but as long as they know the responsibility lorr... 1) study well la,jgn main2 2) pay the loan la,jgn buat2 forget 3) if scholar,make sure u finished contract with MARA la,jgn lari 4) always pround to be MALAYSIAN, even tak nak balik cini lg..ok?
Life is not about stopping, but to continue and learn.
And whenever you are down, Think of the shining sun in all its majesty, all its grandeur Life always has to offer more.
If you ever see this world in shades of gray, don’t cry, do not dismay. Look through my eyes, you will see life is indeed beautiful.
For both you and me.
till we meet again
helfina
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
bad day
hay'all,
my mood totally swing today..its hard when people tak ALERT when it comes to talking...its because of the misunderstanding about my account..i just need an ADVICE,and very loud n clear im not blaming anyone for the trading account eventhough the thruth is..YES..honestly,i followed..but im not kind a person who one to humilated ones ,so thats why i just keep quite and take full responsibility on that..t,which i blame myself for totally believe on that point of view..i am so STUPID n IDIOT to believe and follow..i should more trust myself in that..now its too late,and when im seeking for the advice,i plak yg kena hambur balik..is that fair..padahal,i already terang terangan said,thats my fault and i didnt blame anything.. seriously,i fed up...seriously,im pissing off...seriously,im mad...seriously,i hate this feeling...
but somehow,nobody perfect..i made mistake,but the one that i really frust is ,im kind a very open person..so when people misunderstood,people made a wrong judgement to me..thats disappointed me most....
apapun,it just a feeling..anger n moody feelings..
till we meet again..
helfina
my mood totally swing today..its hard when people tak ALERT when it comes to talking...its because of the misunderstanding about my account..i just need an ADVICE,and very loud n clear im not blaming anyone for the trading account eventhough the thruth is..YES..honestly,i followed..but im not kind a person who one to humilated ones ,so thats why i just keep quite and take full responsibility on that..t,which i blame myself for totally believe on that point of view..i am so STUPID n IDIOT to believe and follow..i should more trust myself in that..now its too late,and when im seeking for the advice,i plak yg kena hambur balik..is that fair..padahal,i already terang terangan said,thats my fault and i didnt blame anything.. seriously,i fed up...seriously,im pissing off...seriously,im mad...seriously,i hate this feeling...
but somehow,nobody perfect..i made mistake,but the one that i really frust is ,im kind a very open person..so when people misunderstood,people made a wrong judgement to me..thats disappointed me most....
apapun,it just a feeling..anger n moody feelings..
till we meet again..
helfina
Monday, January 12, 2009
beautiful morning
hay'all
im having a good sleep until i received a msg from WSto wake up and a misscall..market reopens today and as usual im back serving myself in front of my laptop for another 15 hours,start from 3pm til 6am the next day..n this routine will be same for the next 4 days..watch out..trading forex sometimes very tiring,as im a new comer,lots of things to catch up n learn,,some more,now im joining this new team..i just started joining them on NOVEMBER 2008,still blur about it,but their trading is 100% FUNDAMENTAL..weird right? but that what they says,,sounds interesting,thats why i want to join them..additional point for them is,they are really help us from the bottom till our account growth..awesome right..hehehhe,
so i try..close my eyes,pump in 50bucks in the 'gatal tangan ' account..guess what?.. within a week,i lost all, i pump in more,a week later,i lost..if im not mistaken,almost 5 to 6 times i pump in the funds..but still lost,BUT yet it still under probation..later i know that,theres a way or some sort of technique on how to used the key levels and signal.hehehe miss it,,so the solution of my loses is GO TO CLASS...as i dont want to follow their signal without knowing how they produce it..i want to learn..so before i jump into it,definately,i'll make sure that my knowledge and basic on FA strong..so that,i can trade and understand on how to use,how to get,how to fully utilized it..erm...sound greedy...am i?
doing nothing much today..continue trading,studying the FA and bla..bla..bla..bla..with S and friends,do some house haunting..its a bit difficult for me to find a new place to crash in..as im a bit fussy about finding a good accomodation..but this time,i have to find a housemate too..so im busy list down the 'must have' critiria to be my new housemate...wawawa..sound so bossy and cocky....
currently i crash myself at my friend's place..but as i spent most of my time outside so a bit difficult for me and her.as she a homely type..me as well lorr..but for time being i have some projects to be done,and of course its not nice for me to came back home late as im staying at hers...and yesterday we have some misunderstood..so,when i think back,i shall move out immediately to avoid any problems or i will loose my good buddy ( we know each other since we were 13 years old )almost 12 years...erm..any idea,guys???? well every house have their own rules n regulation right? but for me personally,i prefer MYOB type...
choices and wrong turn are made , as the day goes and the sun fades
people are loved and hearts are broken , as the day goes,heart are brooken
smiles and frowns are shown on faces , as the day goes and the children play in open spaces
happiness and sadness are felt by all , as the day goes and night falls
tears of joy and tears of pain are shed , as the day goes and all in BED...
FYI, i did my hairdo already,,totally like katie holmes..can imagine? :)
till we meet again..
helfina
im having a good sleep until i received a msg from WSto wake up and a misscall..market reopens today and as usual im back serving myself in front of my laptop for another 15 hours,start from 3pm til 6am the next day..n this routine will be same for the next 4 days..watch out..trading forex sometimes very tiring,as im a new comer,lots of things to catch up n learn,,some more,now im joining this new team..i just started joining them on NOVEMBER 2008,still blur about it,but their trading is 100% FUNDAMENTAL..weird right? but that what they says,,sounds interesting,thats why i want to join them..additional point for them is,they are really help us from the bottom till our account growth..awesome right..hehehhe,
so i try..close my eyes,pump in 50bucks in the 'gatal tangan ' account..guess what?.. within a week,i lost all, i pump in more,a week later,i lost..if im not mistaken,almost 5 to 6 times i pump in the funds..but still lost,BUT yet it still under probation..later i know that,theres a way or some sort of technique on how to used the key levels and signal.hehehe miss it,,so the solution of my loses is GO TO CLASS...as i dont want to follow their signal without knowing how they produce it..i want to learn..so before i jump into it,definately,i'll make sure that my knowledge and basic on FA strong..so that,i can trade and understand on how to use,how to get,how to fully utilized it..erm...sound greedy...am i?
doing nothing much today..continue trading,studying the FA and bla..bla..bla..bla..with S and friends,do some house haunting..its a bit difficult for me to find a new place to crash in..as im a bit fussy about finding a good accomodation..but this time,i have to find a housemate too..so im busy list down the 'must have' critiria to be my new housemate...wawawa..sound so bossy and cocky....
currently i crash myself at my friend's place..but as i spent most of my time outside so a bit difficult for me and her.as she a homely type..me as well lorr..but for time being i have some projects to be done,and of course its not nice for me to came back home late as im staying at hers...and yesterday we have some misunderstood..so,when i think back,i shall move out immediately to avoid any problems or i will loose my good buddy ( we know each other since we were 13 years old )almost 12 years...erm..any idea,guys???? well every house have their own rules n regulation right? but for me personally,i prefer MYOB type...
choices and wrong turn are made , as the day goes and the sun fades
people are loved and hearts are broken , as the day goes,heart are brooken
smiles and frowns are shown on faces , as the day goes and the children play in open spaces
happiness and sadness are felt by all , as the day goes and night falls
tears of joy and tears of pain are shed , as the day goes and all in BED...
FYI, i did my hairdo already,,totally like katie holmes..can imagine? :)
till we meet again..
helfina
man
"If a man does not keep path with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music he hears, however measure or far away."
-- Henry David Thoreau
i found this while im scrolling to one of my buddy blog..hehehhe..does this phrase mean something? sound similiar? ermmm,,i'll leave it to you guys to figure it by urself.. its getting late already,,and i need my sleep as tomorow i'll having another hectic days,,night guys..
helfina
-- Henry David Thoreau
i found this while im scrolling to one of my buddy blog..hehehhe..does this phrase mean something? sound similiar? ermmm,,i'll leave it to you guys to figure it by urself.. its getting late already,,and i need my sleep as tomorow i'll having another hectic days,,night guys..
helfina
new chapter in my life
fuhhh,,
finally i told my mum about my break-up,moving out from my condo,my job,and everything,,such a relief,,can u guys imagined? i do...:),,and definately she go hysterical on me and i always love her for that..hehehe..sorry mum..but of course ,i was a big relief for her too as she was really worried about my life lately..but i do promise her that eveything will be ok and on track back.. that was one of my wish list for 2009..
as i expected my mum really blow me,and i did received lecture from me,,she demand an explaination on it about past 2,3 weeks but i refuse to say anything,unless a good night wish every night and walk away,,but whatever it is,,i feel relieved after made the announcement to her and at the same time im also feel so devastated as im all alone here in a big city,trying to tackle my life back,,though!!!!!!
it breaks my heart to move out from my house..breaks my heart again when to see him no longer in my life but i always wish that some how,he aware and realized how much i love him and care for him..despite his harsh behaviour,i love him still..but,,my life has to be on track back without any intervention ( borrowred the word from my lovely TOK JANGGUT) jgn mare..
currently,im happy doing my things outside from the relationship,,but the picture being in the relationship such a great sharing love..
untill we meet again..
helfina
finally i told my mum about my break-up,moving out from my condo,my job,and everything,,such a relief,,can u guys imagined? i do...:),,and definately she go hysterical on me and i always love her for that..hehehe..sorry mum..but of course ,i was a big relief for her too as she was really worried about my life lately..but i do promise her that eveything will be ok and on track back.. that was one of my wish list for 2009..
as i expected my mum really blow me,and i did received lecture from me,,she demand an explaination on it about past 2,3 weeks but i refuse to say anything,unless a good night wish every night and walk away,,but whatever it is,,i feel relieved after made the announcement to her and at the same time im also feel so devastated as im all alone here in a big city,trying to tackle my life back,,though!!!!!!
it breaks my heart to move out from my house..breaks my heart again when to see him no longer in my life but i always wish that some how,he aware and realized how much i love him and care for him..despite his harsh behaviour,i love him still..but,,my life has to be on track back without any intervention ( borrowred the word from my lovely TOK JANGGUT) jgn mare..
currently,im happy doing my things outside from the relationship,,but the picture being in the relationship such a great sharing love..
untill we meet again..
helfina
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